Motorcycle Gangs Have Been Cashing-In on their “Tough Guy” Persona for Too Long

I don’t know about you, but I remember a time when there were two kinds of bars; the bars you went to because you were in a motorcycle gang, and the kinds you went to because you WEREN’T in a motorcycle gang.

Photo by Tim Cook on Unsplash

What has happened to the days when roving bands of miscreant bikers would tear through a town, eating babies, and shattering windows with the glug-glug-glug of mufflers the size of your leg? Where are the reports of gang on gang turf-wars over desolate patches of middle America pot-marked by coal towns and antique garages? In fact, have you ever once heard a story about biker on biker violence? I would guess not!

Shows like Sons of Anarchy and movies like the critically acclaimed 2007 Ghost Rider film, starring the highly respected and unquestionably talented Nicholas Cage, would have you believe that bikers are universally feared tough-guys. Is that the case? No!

Instead, we see story after story of biker gangs going around, helping people. I, for one, won’t stand for it. Look at these so-called-bikers as they help children in court face their abusers. Look at this report of bikers standing between Westboro Baptist protesters and a vigil for the victims of the Orlando nightclub shooting. Are these the actions of a dangerous posse of leather-studded-jacket wearing hooligans? No! These are the actions of philanthropists. Blegh.

If bikers continue to cash-in on their tough guy persona while simultaneously being a positive influence in their homes, churches, and communities, then all their hard-earned machismo will wear off. Soon, when a biker gang like the Hell’s Angels roll into town, they will be inundated with requests to bless newborns, join Amish barn raisings, or give blood. The only blood a biker should be giving is on the blade of a rival gang’s butterfly knife! Am I right or am I right?

Photo by Oleg Yeltsov on Unsplash

Just look at these ninnies as they support kids who want to go to college. If bikers aren’t careful, all images of Santa Claus will be replaced by this exceptionally good-looking guy. Is that what we want? Do we want a generation of people growing up thinking motorcycle gangs are the kindest, most fraternal, giving, and supportive volunteer philanthropist groups in your average American community?

The thought sickens me.

Bikers were born to live free, die hard, and pollute the air both in sound and carbon emissions. Come on bikers! It’s time to defend your turf.

Science Fiction and Fantasy Writer, English Teacher, Gamer, Nerd.

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